"my life", or "my planned existence?"

I am realizing that as I live my life, I like spontaneity and surprises, but at the same time I hate them. I constantly try to figure out what is next. I try to pick things that can't be chosen. I want control. I have faith in God, but my natural flesh wants to figure out and be in control of what is happening. I pray for things, but take them into my own hands sometimes.

I'm learning that I need to just wait...wait to find someone who will be a best friend, wait for someone to date, wait to decide or find a career or even a major, wait for God to show me these things that seem to plague my mind right now. I've wished and I've prayed that God would show me where I was going, or to give me what I'm wanting.

I learned the other day, that me asking and demanding of God isn't the best plan. Asking for peace is. I know that one day, when God introduces the right people, or it's the right time for me to know what to do, or if he leads me into a circumstance that then, I will know. But until then I will rest in the peace that only Christ can give. And when I do recieve these things that are on my heart, I will thank Him gratefully for both the peace, and for keeping the promises He makes.

"God gives a peace that no amount of human reassurance can match."