broken and beautiful

Today I went to Sam's club to run an errand for mom, and it took literally no time at all to find what she needed and to get back to the front. When I reached the front there were several lanes free so I just chose a random lane and the cashier had her back to me originally. I walked up to her, and she turned around once I reached the belt. I hope the surprise that I initally felt because of her appearance did not show on my face.

The woman who was the cashier at this lane was an older black woman, who had a lazy eye, her arm was in a sling, and her black hair had random patches of white. Oh wait, I forgot, she had a wonderful smile. My initial shock was lost as she greeted me warmly and talked to me as if I had known her for years. Her kindness overcame her appearance and inwardly I felt bad for how I'd felt upon first seeing her. And after I finished checking out she simply said, "have a blessed day."

I don't know if four words have ever affected me more profoundly.

Afterwards on my way home, I stopped at a cemetary in historic downtown of Pensacola because I'd never had the opportunity to actually walk around historic downtown. As I walked through the cemetary, I saw so many faceless names: husbands, wives, dads, moms, brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters. It broke me down. Seeing tombstones of infants who never had a chance to grow up. And then I saw husbands who were separated from their wives by death, and the same for wives who were widowed. It broke my heart and I sat their like a weirdo crying over people I'd never met. Families who experienced loss, and people who had grieved over their friends came into my mind and it was too much. I imagined losing those who are close to me. I don't want to have to live through that, though I know I will. It was a broken, yet a beautiful place, that cemetary.

My eyes were opened to a lot of new things, and some old things that I needed to be reminded of today. And at the end of this day I'm finding myself thanking God for friends who talk to me about the tough things, and the things that people just don't bring up. Thanking God for challenging me through those friends. God is so good.

I think today was a blessed day.